1st Episode: 12 Hates of Christmas

Now many of my friends and family (especially my wife) knows I hate Christmas.

Not the holiday per se, but the bullshit involved with it.

People ask me why do I hate such a wonderful holiday. So here it is -- my 12 Hates of Christmas.

These will be listed in no particular order since I despise their existence equally for the most part.

12. Christmas Music

I don't despise all Christmas music -- the traditional stuff is pretty good - but as for the contemporary stuff -- I'd rather gag myself with a fucking reindeer schlong than listen to a bunch of songs again.

Here is a short list of songs and why they suck.

"Santa Baby" - Who the fuck comes up with this shit, I didn't realize Christmas was valentines day. Besides having a stupid context (some slut with a santa fetish) it's got an annoying ass melody and is sang by a Betty Boop Wannabe. That singing style doesn't make you metropolitan -- it makes you dumb.

"So this is Christmas" - sung by the legendary John Lennon. This could be the true reason Mark David Chapman opened fire. I's shoot him too if I saw Lennon go from "I am the Walrus" to sappy ass Christmas music. The song is sickly sweet. It was made in 1971 as a protest song to the Vietnam war and was produced by Phil Spector. Yes the same Phil Spector who allegedly helped failed actress Lana Clarkson blow her brains out.

"White Christmas" "Winter Wonderland" "Jingle Bells" "Rudolph the Red Rosed Reindeer"- these were probably great the first 50-times I've heard them.

Tomorrow the series Continues with Christmas trees.